Reflections
by Moop Ytteld
Summary: Remus reflects on his life with Sirius. Slash mm


He remembered when he'd first met Sirius Black. His first impression had left him with a strong feeling of exasperation (Did they really expect him to stay in a dormitory with these Black and Potter nuts?). He supposed he should have caught that as a grim foretelling of his life. His second reaction had been amazement. Sirius Black had pursued his friendship with a gusto Remus was surprised anyone would be able to possess. This lead him, of course, back to his initial exasperation, but really what was one to do with two incredibly insistent boys who wanted to be his friend. So like a whirlwind, Sirius Black had taken permanent residence in his life.

Over the years it became harder and harder not to notice Sirius. Sirius himself did nothing to help this fact, often going starkers in front of Remus without a care in the world. Of course, Sirius probably hadn't thought anything of it at the time, being that James and Peter were almost always also in the nude with him. Remus had pretended that he didn't see Sirius that way (They were just friends) and that he just hadn't met a girl he'd fancied that much.

It took longer for Remus to admit to himself that yes, indeed, he did like the bloody wanker. This fact had frustrated him to no point, trying to pretend that he didn't, because, what would Sirius say if he knew that Remus was trying his hardest not to think how good he _smelt_ when they'd won the match for the Cup and Sirius had flung himself at Remus with cries of "We won! We've _won_!" before being swept away by an adoring crowd. That night they'd partied themselves silly, and Remus had woken up asleep on a chair in the common room, a subdued Sirius looking down at him. The strange look that had come into Sirius' eyes for a brief second disappeared the moment he realized Remus woke up. He'd then assaulted Remus, insisting that he should of woken up hours ago (Remus had disgruntlily informed him that many people needed more than four hours of sleep).

Two weeks later they'd shared their first kiss. It was surprising and startling and oh so wonderful. Sirius had cornered him one day in an empty classroom, the same odd look in his eyes, and Remus had felt his heart leap up into his throat (in quite a metaphorical sense, of course). It had taken him quite a while to reconcile the fact that Sirius was _kissing_ him. Boys didn't kiss boys. Especially boys like Sirius who could have any girl he wanted. Yet there had been Sirius, always the perpetual whirlwind, shaking up Remus' life all over again.

They'd been together until the end of the year, finding elicit places to kiss passionately (occasionally going a bit a further). When they moved into the real world, it wasn't surprising at all that they begun to share a flat.

Then they'd both had joined the Order. They were constantly out, and when they weren't they were being secretive with one another. The two hardly ever touch or even expressed greetings towards the end. Remus supposed that Sirius hadn't been too surprised when he'd moved out.

Two weeks later James and Lily had died, and Peter had been murdered by Sirius. At least that is what he had assumed at the time. In two dismal days, everything that had made up Remus' life was gone.

It took a year of being withdrawn into himself before he was able to face the world again. By this point, he had already aged beyond his years and the next sequential ones of little to no work, and moving from one roach infested apartment to another, didn't help any either.

Remus had long adjusted to the idea of not having anyone. The wolf inside took longer. The first couple of years or so, he would whine for his friends to join him on the night of the full moon. Eventually, even the wolf began to realize that they weren't coming back.

And then they did. Well, at least one did. He'd spent thirteen years of his life moving on, and there he was. Sirius Black had once again swept into his life like a whirlwind.

At first things had been hesitant, and Sirius seemed afraid that Remus had moved on. Remus let him believe so in the beginning, because just looking at his love's haunted eyes and skeletal form was too much. Time had changed him so much, and Remus couldn't stop loving him even so.

Then as quick as he'd blown in, he was gone again.

Sirius told him once that he had read in a book that werewolf's mate for life. Then, Remus remembered with a wince, he had laughed, informing Remus, "Looks like you're stuck with me for a bit, aren't you, Moony?"

Yes, Remus supposed thinking of a broken-hearted pink-haired witch with no little amount of bitterness, he was.


End file.
